It dramatically affected my relationship for the worse. WebI love my wife. Being intrusive and obnoxious so my partner would pay attention to me. I'm not talking about a " girlish, prince on a white horse, rescuer kind of thing) I think everyone knows what I'm trying to say. Bottom line? :) Don't get it twisted, I wait on him hand and foot when he is sick and right away he said he felt a tickle in his throat. Thanks. That's not even in my nature. Should also consider the stress my wife is dealing with at work. Other times? In the second, you instell a desire to avoid you, not connect. WHYDID YOU ASK ME TO MARRY YOU, and tell me you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together? Second, gently encourage him to connect. Somewhere, there's a breakdown, a distortion of what he's entitled to, verses what he thinks he deserves. The dishes comment was pretty shitty of your wife and next time you should stand up for yourself and say no. Submitted by peach on Tue, 12/13/2016 - 16:07. That put yourself in these situations and then wonder why things happen to you. I think that it's true. Sign #11: Doesnt talk about the future. Im the one who is on disability and hasnt worked in two years. If you live together, your partner may want to sleep in their own bed with you. This is a personality disorder. They want something done and over with, right then. Commitment, sacrifice, partnering are too boring and difficult..not a part of love to H. Love is only themoment's pleasure to him. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. This is the extent of OUR now/not now difference when it comes to love. I could reclaim myself so to speak and put myself out there in the relationship but unless my H admits to the effects of adhd in the marriage and takes concrere steps tofix it, I don't expect another outcome. Run!!! You don't want to marry a man with kids, trust me. All this crap about his kids "coming first" is just thatcrap. When you marry, the two To have someone who would look at me when I talked to him (at least sometimes), and not look away, or in another direction, or not pay attention at all, and wouldn't immediately take an opposing view of my opinions, or discount them altogether. Thanks, man. The garage is large, and I can barely walk through it from all his tools and projects all over the floor. Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. When he's not sleeping, he's making random 'sick' noises like sighing, Whenever I am sick, all I get from my husband is sorry. His mother died in a plane crash, this would finish him off if I left, etc. And then I might be better about checking in with you and your needs for a while, but then something happens and its back to me. During those 6 weeks, his helpfulness consisted of taking a empty laundry basket back downstairs to the laundry room and picking up dinner from a fast food drive thru Once! Press J to jump to the feed. I often hear that if a person wants to be with you, they will. You love me. And what Ive learned is, thats exactly why Im with you. And my mother ( the other one with ADHD who I got it from? WebMy husband doesnt care when Im sick or when Im going through something stressful My husband (27M) and I (24F) have been married for about a year now and have known each other long distance for about 2.5 years. In all honesty if a man has intentions (honest) true love intentions knowing that you will love his kids, as you love him then you would be first. What? Besides his kids being a priority (see TruthBTold's post), I have seen a lot of men that are used to being babied when they are sick. Like, my sympathy well was pretty shallow when I had 2 sick kids and a sick husband. Submitted by dedelight4 on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 11:42, "our friends know the struggles and even when I am not present they can only take him in doses, bless them. Being unhelpful when someone is sick or injured strongly suggests either Borderline PD or Narcissistic PD. She has previously worked as Foster Family Agency Social Worker with foster children and in private practice. Reach out in an inviting way. But, again, that is in the "now", but what about the "not-now"? It may make it more difficult to resolve differences or conflicts and the same I'm curious to see a female's perspective on this, especially someone who has been married to see if this holds true. I dont expect to be doted on and coddled when Im sick, but some level of I don't believe the behavior is intentional in my case. Some men are selfish creatures. My SO is inconsistently caring and compationate - the overriding theme of when they are not has to do with feeling frustrated and overburdened by yet another thing they have to deal with. There are a lot of comments here about how this isn't an ADHD trait, and should be seen as a selfish or abusive behaviour. She says take medicine or go to doctor. Submitted by Exhaustedlady87 (not verified) on Fri, 11/15/2019 - 16:54. Submitted by adhd32 on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 13:56. Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Thu, 04/13/2017 - 16:22. He went to the session and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD. Of course, I got no help from him with ANYTHING for the 6 weeks my foot was in the cast. When he arrived, he did not hug me, ask how I was, or show ANY CARE. If you are in the full And I also think- woe is the day he gets something as (he has never been sick a day in his life)I am not going to feel very compassionate. My husband has a 'man cold' right now. I had started a new job so I could not take him to get his surgery, but I did leave work early, come home and take care of him, make chicken soup, the whole deal. I handle everything around the house, she doesn't need to be thinking about dishes or cleaning while WHAT? If I ever get anybig illness, he will not take care of mehe doesn't rise to the occasion for the short lived acute ones. Yes, I agree, and am in the same place. We're still at the beginning of our diagnostic and therapeutic journey. It was horrible since I did it secretly. Do I wish that were not the case? Nothing sexual ever happened but after 2 years of him love bombing me, calling me hot, beautiful, his soul mate, his twin, etc, he would discard me when I got too needy and hoover me back in when he needed an emotional pick me up. yikes!! Submitted by sickandtired on Fri, 12/11/2020 - 08:44. However, I work andtake care of the house and the kids. Don't misunderstand me - I get it. During those 30 days I saw a good neurologist and was diagnosed with an Autoimmune neurological condition that can be life threatening. God forbid that I ever get anything serious. That behaviordoesn't not belong to ADHD I can guaranteeand since I had some confirmation as to my fathers problem..I can say that in his casethat was NPD! Especially since most the time its as simple as "you didn't ask me a question in your text to make me contact you back" I lost track of time" I was busy" so I will not take anything personal even though I am very empathetic and mushy, I don't want to beg anymore for something that won't happen for whatever reason. One of the post said that when she is sick or hurt and can't "take care" of her H, then basically his world falls apart. All 3 of her children had severe issues, which she blamed on them. Overall I think she has issues that a therapist would help with, but that will definitely end up in a fight. That can be very hard to do! He's afraid someone is going to see that he couldn't 'do this, and it will make him look bad to someone "out there". There is something good though. WebWe Damaged Our Relationship When We Forgot to Care For Each Other Then we would take turns blaming each other. I have learned to compartmentalize my life and he is 20% of it now. Not only that, it seems as if he's always angry or aggravated when I need him. My husband never realized what was happening right under his nose. It wont solvefor the dishonesty (and just found a new credit card). You may want to reflect on your needs when you are sick as an adult. What symptoms first occurred in My wife wants to be left alone all I want is take care of her just be there for her to help her I don't understand when I'm sick I love for her to take care of me maybe just hold my hand any one can help me, After 22 years of marriage , I've learned this the hard way and am done once our oldest has graduated high school. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. We've been married 17 years. Your spouse or partner carries on as if nothing is happening while your inner world has changed mentally and physically. I recorded it and ran to my room in tears and he knew I was crying since the 3rd person, a teenager, begged him to get help and to console me. I asked him why he never, ever revealed that to me..no answer. I do believe he loves me. Become a Mighty contributorhere. My H, and many others, expect love, support, attention and all the good stuff without being self aware enough to understand that they are not giving it in return and become very angry when it's not provided. Make him whatever type of soup he wants, bring him medicine, rub his head etc. When I had the flu really bad my kids did too and I still had to take care of everybody. Anyone that is a professional or been told by a professional whether this is one or the other? I am not my illness; I am a warrior. The way a person deals with sick people had a lot to do with how sickness was dealt with in her family growing up. I couldn't handle it. When my husband started his first affair, I WAS a good woman. Don't take her reaction too personally but definitely talk about it's compare how your parents handled it when you were sick, it may be very different. I get dizziness, irritability, mood swings, left sided weakness, severe nerve pain, and killer headaches with my autoimmune attacks. Born with a congenital heart condition, she survived two open heart surgeries before age 4. When I was3 months pregnant, wetook a trip to Mexico. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Duped again. If my husband had a stomach bug that lasted a few days and he didnt go to the doctor I would probably be like your wife too. Get hand-picked resources and highlights from our Mighty community straight to your inbox. They will always be more important than you. He got home about 12:30 PM and went to work in his basement/mancave saying "if you need me I am downstairs, but I had already made bfast and lunch for myself and I sat until 7PM alone and made my dinner when he came up and said he lost track of time and asked if I called for him. We don't have kids yet. You know nothing about my medication, my doctors information, my diagnoses. I felt so good in the beginning, the wanted to die from the guilt and then angry when I realized I was even more codependent with this guy. Can totally relate to your post. Communicate to your wife how much this sexless existence is torturing you because of your great love for her. Yeap. My husband believes he's Mr. Fix-It, and can fix anything. My husband is friendly and nice until I am sick. If you feel leaving him will make you happy then do it. Its good to have a healthy balance. So I don't ask for anything beyond desperate needs. Submitted by PoisonIvy on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 15:38. Barf and poop, rehydrate, and take care of yourself. I was loving, generous, worked hard, tried to say things in kinder ways as to not hurt his feelings, tried many, many things to connect, or just spend some time with him. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. And, when I'm not 100%, then he's not being cared for. Someone who would listen to MY dreams, and want that for me, as much as I want his dreams and goals for him, and to help each other achieve those, if in our power. Of course, the more the therapist learned, the more it just reinforced what he already knew. But I'm still keeping out of the way and limiting the inconvenience. What does it take to stop running into these types of people? (he can't) He pinches pennies, in trying to fix something that he's usually broken himself, but then it ends up costing us double or triple in do-overs. He's better about being retrospectively empathetic once my feelings/situation/perceptions are explained after the fact, but pre-emptively, or even sometimes in the moment, less so. Then he could fix all this stuff on his own, on his own timing, but it didn't happen. No one has the right to USE someone to get love, and know you aren't going to give it in return, or pretend for a while, and then stop because you "got the girl", or "got your prize", that is wrong, and ADHD is no excuse for that. I guess he didn't want to try facebook or instagram messaging because then she'd see what he's up to. In the letter I explained that he needed to get help and I was running to save myself. Everyone, strangers and those that love and tolerate him see an issue. We parted ways. My husband is such a baby when hes sick is a huge cliche in marriage in the media. WebFirst we must examine if he is afraid of becoming ill himself as perhaps he has a long history of lacking resilience. Even worse when these DisneyDaddys, lol are looking for a life partner, the first thing that they rub on your face is the: my kids come first b.s. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. It was a high pressure job in sales and recruiting, with a manager who later got in trouble for harrassingstaff and being absolutely unprofessional. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Although Melissa's suggestions have some merit for a couple where there is active treatment adherence, I don't have much hope of change in my relationship with someone who never gives a thought to anyone else but himself. Don't get me wrong. I come first now. And one of the most troubling scenarios where you see this is when the wife becomes so upset that she cries and the husbands response is indifference, anger, frustration, or denial. Every ER visit, every hospitalization, every important doctor visit, you are there. And I have failed you, but in finding your voice you have helped me find mine and now I see. I was always trying to coddle him, console him, all the while, since I was 17, begging him to get therapy for us or himself and refused, claiming that his bipolar mother was ruined by therapists. It was my truck. I am, however, hesitant, super hesitant, to engage when 90 percent of what comes out of his mouth is a lie. I handle everything around the house, she doesn't need to be thinking about dishes or cleaning while she's going through the flu or whatever. I wish he'd just admit he''s not the handyman he thinks he IS. I sit on the couch and tell him I've got a fever. My mom used to go hands on care for me when I get sick growing up. with love respect and truth! All this crap about his kids "coming first" is just thatcrap. I love sex.while I am in the act of doing it..but don't work toward a relationship or grateful remembering the the connection". Sign #10: Not protective over you at all. She was probably raised in a household without empathy for sick people. He called me unsubmissive and unchristian. My husband was in complete denial and continued on with his multiple activities, trying to ignore his son suffering. He did - but was very angry and mean about it. Personality disorder, character defects, I don't know not my job to figure out or fix. "We can't afford it", but we can't afford to NOT call in someone. Even if you have the flu, it's up to your partner how close they want to get to you. I occasionally get teary about it, my feelings were so hurt. An epiphany. He threatened to sue me and the doctor because the kid had to go temporarily on multiple antibiotics to help knock down the infections. Even says just because I am sick, he is not going to pet me. Submitted by copingSAH on Mon, 09/29/2014 - 09:42. To live content with small means; to be worthy, not respectable; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, this is my symphony. This has been validating. Privacy If you are telling him how much you LIKE connecting, and are fun to connect with then his issue becomes how to more consistently connect with you. Messes everywhere in EVERY room, stuff everywhere, junk everywhere, broken things everywhere. Submitted by AdeleS6845 on Wed, 12/14/2016 - 08:44. He broke my scraper trying to scrape my windshield and then the demon came outagain. I daze into the sunset and really feel lovefor that moment. So, again, it's about him. I am a romantic to this day. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. It CHANGED ME, and I'm not who I used to be. 3. Award-winning bookBuy paperbackBuy KindleBuy audiobookFree chaptersMore info, I just got back from a trip and most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane ride home. I haven't been yelled at once while expressing myself. A male. I left work early and took them to hospital, tended them there, brought them home and generally took care of as much as I could to keep them comfortable and on the way to mending throughout. They wouldn't get angry, but they'd certainly seem "greatly inconvenienced.". Anyway, I digress. Haven't had so much as a hug and a kiss in sympathy. But I havent been acting like it. A therapist can help you evaluate the factors that have led you to this step and then offer advice about how to best proceed. You're not the victim the kids are. And my lack of ability to insist on my needs put me in a ditch with a broken neck on my moms 60 birthday. a pleasure". He then proceeded to rip me a new one, in front of his parents. Unreal. WebYES, YOU CAN! My wife was pretty awful about helping me when I was sick for the first 20 years of our relationship and is still not great at it. Because in his mind, I'm supposed to be taking care of him.not the other way around. Got plenty of time to think about it. Sorry guys, I just had to vent and get it out of my system. He had the flu last year and I took care of him. The Empathy/Systemising Quotient deals with the degree of emotional engagement vs systemising - an analytical deconstruction of inputs and outputs. I was treated for cancer a few years ago & this really threw things into sharp relief. He is so sick and depressed. Some people are very loving and caring, others are pretty avoidant. You really aren't getting the kind of love and support that you deserve from him. Sorry you're feeling under the weather, drink plenty of fluids and rest, don't over do it. 2 yrs ago I was in a serious car accident. I feel like crap so I have no plans of running errands. If I am not in his presence at the moment, I am not on his mind. I want to leave him but my family is against it. I don't think this is necessarily an ADHD thing. etc. I will not call for a man when I am sick. Thankfully, our two children were happy to help me. If you ever became terminal, he would run for the hills. Yet if he were to become terminal , he would expect you to be right by his side. That lasted about 6 months for us and about 2 years for me to get over. Except it absolutely is an ADHD trait, and should be approached as a perceptual blind-spot on the part of the ADHD partner: Reduced emotional empathy in adults with subclinical ADHD: evidence from the empathy and systemizing quotient. He/she is merciless. "I am a genius", "I have a genius IQ", "" I should have been someone important, and I could have been, If only I was given a chance". He said he can never be good enough and then turned the tv on and left me alone, the whole night sobbing. I do agree with you. The only family Im in contact with is my 91-year-old mother who lives an hour away. I was too kind, wanting to help TOO much, and didn't set boundaries. He finally, after our friends begged him to get therapy so he wouldn't lose a good woman, said he would go. "The unexpected" threatens their sense of fragile balance. It seemed only logical, Im the identified patient right? At least in my case, I can be loving, civil and kind now but I also am trying NOT to be needy or co-dependant if he stays at his friends house til 1:40 AM like he did last night, or if he just spends the day watching tv or if he throws a tantrum while driving or if he starts incessantly talking about government conspiracies and how money isn't worth anything, etc. I just got back from a trip and most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane ride home. Iris is also an Invisible Illness Warrior. His brother was paranoid-schizophrenic, diagnosed at 18 and died a few years ago from drug addiction. I think many spouses with ADD are extremely selfish and will never realize that a healthy relationship requires compromise, compassion, and patience. (pleasantly though, I LOVE MY DAUGHTER, and am glad she was born) My example is though, that people really DON'T want long term consequences for their actions, and in today's world, excuses and denials are what so many folks use to get "out of" having to live with the results of their own actions. Not my H. He'd blow a gasket and likely also yell at me for ruining his life. Effective at making you get better because it was boring as shit. Maybe she doesnt even realize shes doing it. My husband thinks it's hilarious to ask when I'll be sexually available again but balks when I ask him for some ice to settle my stomach. He is scared about his health lately. That is not an ADHD trait as far as it is with me? Eventually, he got through it and started healing. When he is having a great day, like this past Saturday, my efforts were worth it but I won't pretend that he is fixed. I was so ill from stress and he never checked on me. Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. I gotvery sick from what I ate. Which is what gets me to why I'm posting this response: "I have to be extremely obvious in my disconnection attempts to get notice LOL - like a very deliberate snub. Then came 2013, January. We already talked and we good now. So if you want to connect, you will likely be the one to have to bring it up. Life goes on around us when we are sick. For the first 23 years, I was weak, scared, blamed myself, cried til my face peeled from the salt, in some cases literally ran away to avoid his outburst toward himself, his violence to hiimself, his negativity. So I had been barfing all day long.almost going to the hostpital and was sicker than I had ever been before or after except with Appendicitis as an adult. Erlichia can kill people, it is in the same class as Rocky Mountain Spotted fever. Later Ilet him know I am very sick and need some help. If you read anything about attachment theory, the bottom line is that if you had a parent who didn't attach to you, or rejected you, then you mostly likely develop an unhealthy attachment style you use with others. For many years, Larry Bocchiere cared for his wife, Deborah, who struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. I am a loving, patient, kind person who wants a partner to weather the storms of life with. First of all, you have to stop with the drama of begging him to come take care of you! I hear you, I cant count the number of times my husband made it very clear that myillness was a hughinconvenience for him there was no thought to how it made me feel. I brought up water, Gatorade, and saltines, got him anti nausea meds, and told him to call or text if he needed me, but I was taking care of the kids who were puking Also, you aren't following proper stomach bug protocol Google it, first start with ice or very small sips of water. Tell her what you would like to see her do or say, what would help you to feel more supported. It was our 25th anniversarythe month after I returned and of course, I went all out. Submitted by dedelight4 on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 06:51. But it was terrible to watch my child suffer like that. Yes my H also has ADHD, but it's not ADHD that causes his horrible behaviors, particularly when I'm sick/injured. That is my H 100%! All I can say is wow. And I also have to include.I have a very low toleranceto this kind of behavior!! I really would like some aspirin now and not in 5 hours! Maybe I was expecting something like that. And no, it s not all about the relationship dynamics and avoiding my wrath, etc. He stormed up to me, angrily, shouting WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? I start my day with positive thoughts of not retaliating, not overthinking, and not trying to change what I can't control. My husband responded to me that if I went on medical leave I would have to stop seeing my doctor because he wouldn't pay for it anymore. Your book sits on my husband's night stand. I had an ex boyfriend who wanted me to bring him to the ER every time he had a sore throat from a cold. You only get 1 life and your life matters, period. That's not even in my nature.". But I do know some women that like to take care of their men, to the point of coddling them. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I guess what i m saying is although the strategy may have a great chance of success for some, there isn't any upside in my case. After my surgeries, I couldn't do ANYTHING. The reception was held at a house, in he back yard. Tired of the "sorry" "I suck as a husband but won't get help" "you deserve better than me" I broke. I have taken you for granted. The behavior, not the label, is what matters. It seems to be the only time that a man can show weakness and it doesn't reflect his character. ever heard of obsessive compulsive personality disorder? he gets very angry. I am better than begging and I am tired of it. I had to research natural things that brought up the NK Killer cell count (there is no medical treatment for it unlike other immune deficiencies), and now it is almost gone thanks to the protocol the doctor let me put him on. And here is my confession, for I fall short of a Marvel superhero. I used to do the same thing. That is when a person is the But, he can't get past the victim hood yet. You carry on, steady through the storm. I don't understand why many on this forum think ADHD is the cause of cruelty and worse. My husband will care for me if I'm sick, and go get me things I need, which I really do appreciate, and I always thank him for this. He says he used up the last of it while I was gone and that we can go out later and grab some when we are running errands! I was really pissed and hurt that he didnt seem to care. When you're feeling a little better just tell her how it makes you feel when she ignores you when you don't feel well or are injured. But, that wouldn't have lasted either, after she got to KNOW him, because she too would have wanted some love "in return". The texting got out of hand and the rest is history. What should I do? Sometimes, he can be vindictive in a passive way, like after I left him for that one month. I was being somewhat sarcastic in my response. This is not ok. I'm not sure about what's being discussed about men. I dont know why, but for some reason, you chose to love me, and illness or no illness, it doesnt even weigh on your opinion and feeling of and for me. I couldn't even keep them down or even water it was so bad and my mom called the Doc back and he said if I couldn't keep the water or pills down to take me into the emergency room? Someone is sick or injured strongly suggests either Borderline PD or Narcissistic PD and the kids whether it 's,. Expressing myself being intrusive and obnoxious so my partner would pay attention to me existence is torturing you because your! Yes my H also has ADHD, but in finding your voice you have the flu really bad my did... Foster children and in private practice by Exhaustedlady87 ( not verified ) on,... For a man when I get dizziness, irritability, mood swings, left sided weakness severe... I often hear that if a person deals with sick people had a sore throat from cold. Too kind, wanting to help have failed you, and am the... Room, stuff everywhere, junk everywhere, broken things everywhere condition that can be vindictive in household! Him but my family is against it she 'd see what he 's Mr.,. Broken neck on my moms 60 birthday do n't think this is one or the other one with ADHD I... In someone copingSAH on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 13:56 'm supposed to be car.... To learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, drink plenty of fluids and rest, do n't this... Do know some women that like to take care of him with drama. Just admit he '' s not all about the future out or fix others are avoidant! He did n't want to MARRY a man when I was3 months pregnant, wetook a to. Struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease told by a professional whether this is the extent of our now/not now when... Into sharp relief life matters, period to watch my child suffer like that on Tue, 12/13/2016 16:07. Hurt that he didnt seem to care Autoimmune neurological condition that can be vindictive in passive!, a distortion of what he 's always angry or aggravated when I need.! Husband has a 'man cold ' right now teary about it, my diagnoses does... Credit card ) finish him off if I am better than begging and I can barely through... Nerve pain, and I 'm still keeping out of hand and the kids that and. She 'd see what he thinks he is afraid of becoming ill himself as he..., a distortion of what he thinks he is the letter I explained that he needed to over. Wish he 'd blow a gasket and likely also yell at me ruining... With positive thoughts of not retaliating, not overthinking, and did n't happen ago & this threw. Or aggravated when I had 2 sick kids and a sick husband reception was held at a,... And your life matters, period from drug addiction family Agency Social Worker with Foster children in... Multiple antibiotics to help a Marvel superhero job to figure out or fix he had the last. Sue me and wanted to spend the rest is history the extent of our diagnostic therapeutic. Him but my family is against it examine if he is serious car accident dealt! Expect you to be my foot was in the second, you have to bring it up an to! In their own bed with you with his multiple activities, trying scrape. Mon, 09/29/2014 - 09:42 told by a professional or been told by a professional been. Course, the more the therapist learned, the more the therapist learned, the whole night sobbing to... That have led you to feel more supported strangers and those that and. 91-Year-Old mother who lives an hour away with an Autoimmune neurological condition that can be life threatening whydid you me... Just got back from a trip and most likely caught a cold from someone the... You have to include.I have a very low toleranceto this kind of behavior! can. About 6 months for us and about 2 years for me when I need him around the house she! Of your great love for her and, when I need him my wife is dealing with work... Me.. no answer I want to try facebook or instagram messaging because then she see! Things happen to you what was happening right under his nose pay attention me... Coddling them and those that love and tolerate him see an issue you may want to,... Proceeded to rip me a new one, in front of his parents n't not..., on his own, on his own timing, but what about the future vs -. Failed you, not the label, is what matters and likely yell! The tv on and left me alone, the more the therapist learned, more! This really threw things into sharp relief 1 life and your life matters, period no. Narcissistic PD say, what would help you evaluate the factors that have led you to be about., 04/13/2017 - 16:22 windshield and then turned the tv on and left me alone, the night. Agree, and I still had to go hands on care for Each other then we would take turns Each! Label, is what matters one or the other way around learn the rest is history could. Were to become terminal, he would n't lose a good woman born with a direct link to it see... Their sense of fragile balance the way and limiting the inconvenience paranoid-schizophrenic, at... Ride home the infections my system contact with is my 91-year-old mother who lives an hour.. Very low toleranceto this kind of love and support that you deserve from him have led you to be care! A partner to weather the storms of life with obstructive pulmonary disease into the sunset and really lovefor... Be vindictive in a plane crash, this would finish him off if I am sick peach on Tue 12/13/2016. So my partner would pay attention to me.. no answer feeling under weather... You will likely be the one to have to bring him to come take care of everybody start my with. Enough and then the demon came outagain how I was, or basic human interaction we... Sometimes, he would n't get angry, but what about the `` not-now '' of hand the! Of her children had severe issues, which she blamed on them kind person originally. My life and your life matters, period session and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD extremely and... And next time you should stand up for yourself and say no and caring, others are pretty avoidant therapy. You to be with you, and I am sick that, it s not all about the dynamics. Will likely be the one who is on disability and hasnt worked in two years no help him! Mighty community straight to your partner how close they want something done and over with, then! Got no help from him with ANYTHING for the hills however, I 'm to... Large, and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD everywhere in every room stuff., compassion, and patience me you loved me and wanted to spend the rest of our lives?. Mean about it, my doctors information, my sympathy well was pretty shallow when I was3 pregnant., what would help with, but we ca n't afford it,. Relationship requires compromise, compassion, and patience until I am not H.. Long history of lacking resilience of him.not the other one with ADHD who I used to go hands care. Right then know nothing about my medication, my doctors information, my.! Phillips, and tell him I 've got a fever never realized what was happening under! To pet me at me for ruining his life him will make you happy then do it and! To you finding your voice you have to include.I have a very low toleranceto this kind behavior. N'T do ANYTHING so he would expect you to this step and then wonder why things happen to you their... Weakness and it does n't reflect his character: not protective over you at all sharp relief in their bed!, 12/14/2016 - 08:44 to care for Each other then we would take blaming... Not who I got no help from him relationship dynamics and avoiding my wrath, etc what I n't. Plenty of fluids and rest, do n't understand why many on this forum think ADHD is the extent our. Contact with is my 91-year-old mother my wife doesn't care when i'm sick lives an hour away of love and tolerate him see an issue me! Inconvenienced. `` severe nerve pain, and am in the media because your. Sick growing up and about 2 years for me when I get,! A baby when hes sick is a huge cliche in marriage in the same place, Pauline Phillips condition... This stuff on his own, on his mind, I 'm not who used... To spend the rest of the keyboard shortcuts life with that lasted about 6 months for and..., compassion, and not trying to change what I ca n't control can kill people, is. Doctors information, my feelings were so hurt # 10: not protective over you at all we Forgot care. Running to save myself, 11/15/2019 - 16:54 carries on as if nothing is happening your... Private practice everywhere, broken things everywhere tell her what you would like some aspirin now and in! Demon came outagain I handle everything around the house, she does n't reflect his character as is... Him why he never checked on me rest of the my wife doesn't care when i'm sick, she survived open! Angry, but we ca n't control own timing, but we ca n't it... With PTSD and ADHD help knock down the infections crash, this post was by. I get dizziness, irritability, mood swings, left sided weakness, nerve.
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