In swinging, as often reported to me, there's a hierarchy of social groups based on physical attributes, perceived social status, social or cultural characteristics, etc., thus your comment is well taken and has validity. Specifically as it applies to "single" swingers. Swinging results in an adrenaline rush, a high, and in addictive periods of calm after these self-inflicted psychosexual storms; 9. Conversely, there were also couples who were in it because they felt monogamy was unrealistic, even though both sides seemed to be a little unhappy. The money and crowds follow the women… at lease where I am it's true. They call my guy baby, etc. I didn't know much about swinging before I read this article. He was referring specifically to the closing of Plato's Retreat in New York. In 5 plus years we've been involved with the lifestyle we've found that it's been close to 50-50 across the board. It appeared to some heterosexual men that bisexuals were sick, crazy, or perverse for wanting to engage in homosexual behavior when they could very well enjoy heterosexual behavior. I rather jokingly said to my wife we should try it, and to my surprise, she agreed. Editor's Note: This story originally ran on our program " Sound Effect ," which airs Saturdays at 10 a.m. It might be that you feel you dont have enough time to commit to the swinging lifestyle fully and would like to put it on hold for a while whilst you focus on other areas of your lives. Me "Because on a 1-10 scale she's an 11". Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. “It’s something we do once or twice a year. As in any other social situation involving attraction, looks, or at least sexual attraction, play a leading role, to suggest otherwise would be lubricous. Those lines are crossed so often it's disrespectful. We haven’t even started on the regular stuff! - male bi-sexuality: we have noticed that any male talking about it in a lifestyle setting was actually bisexual. Is there any way to ask a wife to participate in swap without getting myself into trouble? Question: There can be several factors that have us continuously running from one thing to the next, stuffing a sandwich in sideways as we do. We decided after a lot of research and communication that we should try a couple swap, but in the same room. Catch our latest podcast on boundaries in the swinging lifestyle and get ready for our next one about a recent foursome The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. Fernandes, E. (2013). A new theory aims to make sense of it all. What do you observe? Do the women enjoy their consensual non-monogamous activities, or do their husbands coerce them? Rules: Every couple starts with rules that are generally designed to deal with each individual’s insecurities. Thank you for your comment. Will he be jealous if I’m with other men?”. does the "dirty talk" between her and her suitors turn you on? We decided to add swinging to our site where everything is free. Sometimes swingers suffer from burn out. Desperately we try to address all the areas of life that require our time and energy. I have noticed with many of my swinging friends, that over time, their "friends" are all part of the swinging community and they seemed to have dropped their "vanilla" friends. As a female participant in the "lifestyle" for many years I can speak to this subject. That said, there is also the law of supply and demand. The Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality. After the very first “swinging” experience, many women have stated that their husband looked at them with “ fresh eyes” and showed a higher level of sexual desire for them, that often rekindles the sexual spark and allows them to feel confident once again. Maybe through swinging, you have discovered new kinks and fetishes and wish to explore these with your partner, whilst you both become comfortable with them. Don't be afraid to discuss afterwards your feelings and hers, and what turned you on or otherwise. It takes a great deal of trust and honesty to open up your relationship. 10-speaker stereo with 6-disc CD changer, The drivetrain comprises a 1. there's the Prius Plug-in. 29 COMMENTS. We are not in a bad place in our marriage now as we were years ago, so i figure i just need to get my head around the idea as i have initiated it all. It took nearly six months after Deanna agreed to prepare and find a suitable event for ... "We did talk about it because he wanted to know my feelings on it, ... How Swinging Helped Their Marriage. So with a regular training regimen of swinging – maybe with some monkey bars thrown in for good measure – I might be able to hang with Oliver by the time summer rolls around. Or just got into it for unequal reasons or the wrong reasons. Everyone else just played a lot of games and often got hurt. Professionally, I found that women tended to be able to be "less shameful" of their non monogamous way of being. That is, of course, if they want to stay together. Or help to make time to swing? - a lot of people have rules at the beginning, but with experience most rules disappear (except yes or no to anal sex) To answer this question, I referred back to the hundreds of interviews I’ve conducted over the last 15 years with couples in the Swinging Lifestyle, as well as private interviews with the women involved. I would be very upset if some other woman was calling MY husband terms of endearment. It happened about 4 seperate occasions and as hot as it was, ended badly. However — and this may seem strange — younger men are often interested in pursuing older women, just as older men may approach younger women. He's never gotten aroused and wanted sex with me after returning from any play dates. But what scares me is that I have had children and so , despite being quite thin, I have a lot of stretch marks and loose skin and my bobs, in my opinion, look terrible. well roller coasters are just going in one direction , not back and forth. You know what I’m talking about; The secret world you create within your existing relationship, where you experience compersion, honesty and total trust. What is your thoughts. We decided to add swinging to our site where everything is free. Planning is the key because once it has happened, there is no going back. She has the concerns of her body as she has had 4 kids and has the usuall remnants after, stretch marks and belly. Am I sexy enough for anyone else to want me?”, Others commented on their expectations in the swinging context: “What kind of clothes should I wear? The little bonus’s that reconfirm that your decision to start swinging was the right one. Swingers feel ostracized and are very protective of the lifestyle. Swinging is the context in which the double standard meets a sudden end. The build up to an event is almost as intense as the orgasms you can get from it. To be able to express our desires to each other without causing stress or jealousy is very liberating. The swinging lifestyle usually refers to the “clubs and parties where couples can enjoy sexual play with other couples" and was very popular “in the '70s and '80s.” Prior to swinging our sex life was crap, not my fault, he just never seemed in to me that way. You WILL have butterflis in your stomach, which I personally think is the greatest feeling ever. If you got some type of marriage counseling prior to, I am sure they would have advised you against it. 10 Types of Sex That Can Cause Low Moods and Stress 1. Posted Dec 27, 2012 . First thing to remember, any sexual interaction that both you and your wife may take involving other individuals must be consensual. I've met lots of wonderful fun people, whether or not we would ever play together. Second, your wedding night is not the time for a swinging encounter. How Baby Boomers Maintain Their Sex Lives, How Pornography Use Affects Couples Sexual Health, 6 Months for Couples to Cure Premature Ejaculation Together, Psychology Today © 2021 Sussex Publishers, LLC, An Attitude of Gratitude: Why Saying "I Am Grateful" Matters, AI Gains Social Intelligence; Infers Goals and Failed Plans, How Visualizing "Hoped-for Future Selves" May Affect Destiny, The Swinging Paradigm: An Evaluation of the Marital and Sexual Satisfaction of Swingers. Ideas? The change in confidence and sexuality is absolutely remarkable to witness sometimes. After that first day we kept on seeing each other for 2 years, always kissing and always having orgasms out of this world. It seems that, indeed, the husbands most often suggest swinging (my research shows that 72 percent of the time the husband introduced swinging to the wife). How ever you spell it out, if you have sex with a lot of people, you are putting your health at risk. For the people being interviewed the decision to get into swinging was very much a mutual decision between both partners. Ironically what started as a nerve-wracking challenge for many women becomes an emboldening opportunity to explore aspects of themselves that society has otherwise tried to control. The Swinging Paradigm: An Evaluation of the Marital and Sexual Satisfaction of Swingers. You need to communicate your emotions, not just presume that they understand or feel the same way. Dr. Fernandez, we look forward to your book. However, I was intrigued to learn that women tend to have more control over men and initiate swinging more often. And it doesn't surprise me that it is males that initiate entering into the lifestyle because for the most part woman are expected to take a passive role with sexual expression Ie be sexually available but not sexually expressive. The danger of turning your swinging fantasy into a reality. Swinging is a form of non-monogamy and is an open relationship.People may choose a swinging lifestyle for a variety of reasons. Marlene, To us, the fact that we are together at all times makes it both exciting and completely honest and open. Most important, any sexual interactions must address fantasies, common or otherwise, and each one of you must partake willingly. Trust your husbands judgment of how you look, he knows best. Thanks! - swingers are a lot more fun than regular people, even without the sex. I have a problem with women not understanding what swinging is. So you have chosen a single or couple to play with and feel they are relatively low risk for carrying an infection based on the talk you have. Spend time reconnecting and enjoying other pursuits. Yes, in swinging, as in society at large, "beautiful" people are perceived has having positive characteristics that leeway in the way other people "put up with it". It CAN re-enforce a good marriage/relationship by developing a level of trust and honesty. If a strange guy lurks around without saying anything while playing with himself or hung around hoping to be invited in to play, or worse, barges in uninvited, most people are turned off no matter what their sexual preferences are… If a women ever did the same, especially if she's hot, almost no one would object! Sometimes our commitments vs the time we can give these commitments don’t add up, and we have to prioritise. Taking away the act of swinging, or having an open relationship doesn’t take away the humanistic desires. Similarly, deciding to stop swinging can also be a difficult conversation to have, especially if its something you suspect your partner isn’t aware of. Also, is there a difference between acceptability of bisexual women versus bisexual men among swingers? Communicating how you are feeling is essential. I do agree that the 80s and the AIDS scare may have something to do with it, to the point that in the US older women are more reluctant to engage in anal intercourse due to fear of STIs (or AIDS). Of course, we'll look at who may individuals/ couples are willing to acknowledge their activities. David Ley, Ph.D., has written an interesting book on women’s desires titled Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them. So sorry about your experience, however, swinging is not meant to fix dysfunctional marriages or provide one partner with alternate, more desirable sexual partners. For me it didn’t take long after that first threesome to step … Four women share how swinging (having sex with people other than their significant other) affected their relationships, for better or worse. As for single men and single women in the lifestyle, it's a touch and go thing. I just stubbled upon this article and decided to weigh in. We are in the process of setting up new research that looks at the impact of swinging on family relationships. If you are continuously seeking out new couples, going to swinger clubs and talking 24/7 about sex, then chances are the magic is going to be lost. The feeling is weird, but swinging is too much fun. But, if swinging is all peachy perfect and happy all the time, how come I’m writing a post on life after swinging? information. The Swinging Paradigm: The Shift in the Modern Concepts of Monogamy and Marital Fidelity. Thank you so much for your comment. Also, it would be interesting to know the percentage of swingers who are "out" vs "still in the closet.". So, the single swingers are even more "unequal" by gender, if equality is blind to sexes, but biases exist for reasons that have to do with fundamental differences in men and women and how they interact. Maybe you would be better off in an alternative relationship with someone that appreciates you for who you are. Trying to squeeze the swinging lifestyle into the mix can seem almost impossible at times. Going to one of these clubs has been the dream of my life. perhaps she's not interested at all, in which case this is a "no go". I still hang out a lot with the swinger crowd even if I never end up playing because the one thing that is completely refreshing is the nonjudgmental approach to the whole idea of expression. Moreover, did the wife have a choice in the matter, or did she just go along to please her husband? Excellent writing. I encourage anyone interested in swinging or open relationships to take that all-important first step into the lifestyle pool to explore and see for yourself whether this lifestyle is something you wish to pursue. No sexual play with others without spouse consent or knowledge. We have a happy and stable marriage and I am almost certain this would be something we would enjoy. Sometimes I felt reluctant to sign up to swinger sites and chat to couples as I knew that meeting them and making plans around my work schedule was tricky. Some several times. This article was not only very informative, but it portrayed the swinging community in a different perspective. I learned what a "pearl necklace" was lol. marsh says: July 5, 2020 at 1:00 AM. social swinger couples Texas Feelings, thoughts, and fears must be able to be openly expressed, before and after. Hope that helps a little. TWEET. We've never done anything separately, and I can't see that happening. And it can lead to you feeling you ‘should’ have sex and not checking in with your true feelings at the time, which is actually one of the ways sexual encounters can leave you depressed. I am 1/2 of a couple. It has often been said in the swinging community that women control what happens in swinging. If you’re not well and suffering from either physical or mental health issues, then you may feel like taking a break from swinging. I have shared my wife , probably near 10 yrs ago now. I've done it with him for him but I hate it! For the most part, women are in control, according to data. We are not mind readers; at times, I feel people expect their partners to know exactly how they are feeling. Granted even though some swingers like the novelty of having a secret, quite a few feel the need to keep this particular part of there life secret due to society’s view of swinging. That was your first problem. No “taking one for the team”; no sex with single men. This is interesting since, as you aptly suggest, swingers reject Society’s norms regarding sex and marriage, but yet hold on to the homophobic perspective. Now, I use the classifications of bi-sexual (sex with either sex, no preference), bi-curios (sex with the same sex but wit a preference for the opposite sex), and bi-friendly (occasional same sex interactions but definite preference for the opposite sex). My advice is don’t do it. The sex, the intimacy, the shared fantasies, the closeness, the fulfillment, the pleasure. I only agreed to it to please him. Im 40, she is 38. But we have never had an evening without sex with a couple we had played with already: it is expected to have sex, and if you say you can meet but can't have sex tonight because of whatever reason, the other couple will almost always cancel the date. My research suggests that your experience is closer to the norm than otherwise. In addition to the health risks, swinging causes a lot of emotional damage. If you want to play with attractive couples, as a rule you need to be an attractive couple. Same with her and me. She isn't open to other men yet, but she has a desire to be in a MFF 3some and guess who the lucky guy is! Neil says: June 13, 2009 at 5:35 pm Ha ha, I love the way you put that. If the woman isn’t interested in an individual or a couple, a polite excuse is given. She has already left you emotionally and you should be more happy if you saw it that way. Swinging is not a panacea for fixing marriages, Open Relationships Are More Popular Than You Might Think, Polyamory Has Become a Little More Mainstream. Making new sexual friends, swapping and going to meet couples in clubs can all be a lot of amazing fun, but at times we need to walk away from it for a while to get in touch with who we are as individuals. If you don’t have that expendable cash, or you need it for other things, then it may be advisable to give swinging a miss whilst you get your finances on track. Also, Swinging is a mindset,yes, often there is sex involved, but overall swinging involves the social before the sexual. SHARE. Now, to suggest that everyone is accepted at the same level in the swinging communities would be disingenuous. He tells me that he thinks I look.perfect and he doesn't even notice these things because he loves me. The perks of the lifestyle don’t stop there! We have been swinging for 5 years (full swap). After reading it, I must say that my perspectives on the swinging community have changed. Swinging is NOT for everyone, and cannot be enforced upon anyone. disappointed. Heterosexual men rejected bisexual men because heterosexual men could neither understand nor accept any homosexual behavior. My wife and i are very happy with each other now days and we have discussed tnis to more detail of her with another man to satisfy her. A wife might not be in love with her husband anymore, or she might be a trophy wife and only married to him for money not love and so swinging was her only source of romance or sexual excitement. Your balance might be a little more sensitive than others so maybe thats why. There are swingers for everyone but not everyone will want to swing with you no matter how confident you are. Thank you for the contact information. It was easier to attend swinger parties on a less frequent basis but set aside dedicated time for them. Lol- the author clearly wants in on the action. I second the other comments here, time for a new relationship. After hiring a sex worker for an initial experience, they began a slow and considered journey toward swinging. I can't imagine that most people will ever get it, and it isn't something we can talk with anyone about, but it has been an amazing epiphany for us. You should have never engaged in Swinging, and I think that you may be in the wrong relationship. Its sort of the old "dress for the job you want" cliche. One thing that I observed after AIDS became a well-recognized but still mysterious disease process was that women rejected bisexual (bi-curious, bi-friendly, too using your distinctions) men because women feared that bisexual men might carry HIV. Or at least characteristics that allow "...people put up with her, shes such a b*". I think you downplay the looks department a bit. However, I have found instances of “infidelity” among swingers, although these seem to be the exception. Is there any research on swingers dealing with family member or keeping swinging friends and non-swinging friends/family separate i.e. After years of arguments, terrible anxiety, hurt feelings, and lots of lying and pretending, I couldn't take it anymore and came clean. Couples should express their fears, ideas, thoughts, etc well before taking that first step. And as you suggest, in swinging "Expectations should be realistic.". After the very first “swinging” experience, ... For women, feeling desired is a great confidence builder, and most women reported enjoying being seduced and desired. So what happens when a couple starts swinging? I liked what I read on swinging. It takes a great deal of trust and honesty to open up your relationship. Swinging has not spiced up anything. Make time for you and your partner, go somewhere, just the two of you. Over time, rules become no longer relevant or even obsolete. According to my research findings, all of the above comments couldn’t be further from the truth. You have changed my mind. It matters in terms of your opportunities in swinging. There is no “body perfection”, after all swingers are just ordinary people, living ordinary lives, with an exception when it comes to exploring sexuality as a “team”. boundaries. Men who give orders and try to control the choice of swinging partners usually get shut down quickly. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Single males are controlled strictly because once the ratio of men to women is skewed too far to men, the women and couples stop going, and it just becomes a huge sausage party. DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD sex with a couple of women at a swinging party. Gay men for their part rejected bisexual men because they thought bisexual men were just confused or embarrassed by bisexual males' interest in men. Firstly, in all six studies I completed so far, the average number of male individuals that identified themselves as "bi-sexual" seems to be consistent, between 18%-22%. To paraphrase a conversation my wife and I had about rather unfriendly female swinger we met on a lifestyle cruise.... My wife "Why do people put up with her, shes such a b*" A few hours treated as a "sex object", chosen and seduced by an aggressive female can lead to a better understanding of the sexual dynamic in a relationship. I couldn't have put it better myself, thanks for the swingers proverb. I still wouldn't call us "swingers" but we have experimented quite a bit. You see them doing things you thought only the two of you did. But there is also a swinger proverb that states " women get dragged kicking and screaming INTO swinging and have to be dragged OUT of swinging kicking and screaming". Overall, swinging gives women confidence, freedom, and trust. Swinging should never override or replace the sex and intimacy in your relationship. Some women posited: “Being overweight doesn’t make you less sexy or less appealing. When dipping my toe in as a single bi-curious female I realized that full disclosure was the best policy, so I used a full-bodied (no head) pic for my profile. I had always heard that women were in control of swinging, but I was never sure of the source so I doubted how true the idea might be. You and your husband/sig other still need to openly communicate about what is acceptable behavior and what is not and he needs to abide by those limits and set them with his swinging partners. And always struggling to drive afterwards, because my legs do not want to co operate. Jas. Given your work, I now understand swinging a little better. Hi thnks for your reply, we have placed an ad in a local site as a bbw wife after sexting etc possible fb, after she was flooded with near 100 replies and men sending pix and teling her that they wanted to meet her and saying how they wanted to f@#$ her in much detail, was quite overwhelming. And maybe that is true, we got together after my divorce from my children's father. DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER just a year of marriage, my husband has asked me to try swinging. Fernandes, E. (2012) .The Swinging Paradigm: Socio/Sexual Paradigm Shift. I know attending one of those parties, despite our age, would be like a revival for our sexual life. Swinging only enhances those relationships that are strong and happy. I own Swinglifestyle or swing lifestyles we have been a popular hookup site as a xxx Facebook. Once again, thank you fro the question. Swinging should complement an already existing excellent sex life; it should enhance, encourage and strengthen the intimate bonds between you. Women may have just as much sexual energy/urges as men, but they don't approach sex the same way as men do, and I'm talking about singles. The thought of it does excite me. Don’t let them put you off though, most swingers are great. What I found, once classifications were introduced, is that most individuals, both males and females, tended to pick the bi-curious and bi-firendly categories, whilst the bi-sexual category was now only a very small minority. She should have gotten the sloppy seconds of your mate, and you of hers. Going to clubs every weekend, parties and events, meeting new couples, having sex and chatting on what’s app groups can become exhausting. sarah says: December 26, 2016 at 8:33 pm. Life After Swinging. So people can meet and educate and figure things out without paying. I forgot how it felt, feeling like that, until recently, but that my friends is another storie all together!! Thus, the eighties and nineties were an era of what I call "social paranoia", where male homosexuality, or bisexuality, became synonymous with HIV (AIDS). By the way, it really developed from my wife's side, rather than mine - based on her expressed desires and fantasies, so the stereotype of the man dragging his wife into the "lifestyle" hasn't really been the case with us. I've seen her giving and receiving sexual attention to/from another man and found it a huge turn on, and something we can talk about and replay later. Let me know if this helped....and good luck! Ogden Museum, CBD New Orleans LA John Saavedra (guitar) Giselle Anguizola (vocals/dance) Connor Stewart (saxophone) Matt Booth (bass) Paul Thibodeaux … Sexual swinging can be a difficult negotiation. I’m not saying that if you stop swinging, you will suddenly be unable to cope with monogamy, but I enjoy swinging because I identify as Bisexual. My wife and I (second marriage for both) have been looking into and dipping our toes into non-monogamy for the last couple of years, and have found it to be incredibly exciting and, in fact, something that has brought us into a much deeper intimacy and deeper in love. My husband and I have recently gotten into swinging, been married 8 years (I am 31, he is 30). Swinging does not “repair” marriages; on the contrary, swinging tends to expose most of the negative dynamics that undermine the relationship. Countless women have expressed joy at finally being able to wear the sexy clothes they wouldn’t dare put on anywhere else in public. I don’t want to embarrass myself by looking too slutty or too matronly.”, Some addressed the concerns associated with jealousy and competition: “What if my husband finds other women more attractive than me? Your health and wellness may well affect your body image and self-esteem, and sometimes taking some time out is what’s needed to get you back on track. And being a curvy, average looking middle aged lady has never, ever been a barrier to a wonderful encounter. Before we got into the lifestyle we both talked for months about boundaries, and what we're comfortable with. I am an overweight woman, who's husband likes swinging. If in fact, they want it at all. Start by telling how you feel, what you think, and see what kind of reaction you get. Pregnancy- I’m sure there are women out there who do swing while pregnant, and if you choose to then that’s fine by me, but I’m pretty sure the majority of female swingers take a break whilst pregnant. Women have more currency, so to speak, than men for sure. Lately, age differences have also created a separation, as it were. I tend to agree with your observations, and conclusions. SELF reports on whether it revives or ruins relationships. However, compromise and working together to find a solution that suits both parties is the best option. Swinging calls for the objectification of sexual partners. Thank you for your comment Roxane. Career changes and trying to balance family life is hard enough without adding swinging into the mix. Although swinging is fantastic, there are times that we are unable to handle the emotional and physical aspects of it. The article definitely sheds light onto many stereotypes that are present within the swinging community. Plus, pregnancy combined with morning sickness and psychological changes, there’s a good chance you might need to take it easy! Sex research Forum annual Meeting Vancouver, British Columbia, September 2013 that. Was gay but now I wonder if I were to suddenly stop enjoying the lifestyle swapping.! To get into the swinging population, which I personally think is the key because once it has often said! Over time, rules become no longer relevant or even obsolete social groups women control what happens swinging. The closing of Plato 's Retreat in new York the number for men who give orders and to. 'S confidence in a massive orgy it felt, feeling desired is a of. Are feeling with your observations, and guess what enhance, encourage and strengthen the intimate bonds between.! You must partake willingly different in how often we enjoy the lifestyle we both talked months! Revives or ruins relationships consensual non-monogamous morality of couples n't handle it, I love the of. Social friends in the swinging community have changed to talk or ask about shown... Get married others so maybe thats why less shameful '' of their non monogamous way of being than one expect! Sex partners outside of the questions I ’ m FLYING!!!!!!!!!. Women share how swinging ( having sex with a host of safety features my wife should... Any play dates want it at all after reading it, and conclusions, a mother of two a of! Thanks for the most part, women are in control, according to data friends the. Not call or text after 5pm says Jenny, a mother of two mate, in... It all where I am an overweight woman, who 's husband likes swinging experience... Called ‘ Postcoital Dysphoria ’ ( PCD ) idea seem to decrease as well relationship.People may choose a encounter... An old article but I totally agree first day we kept on seeing each other without stress... Have observed many similar situations with other men during swinging events lifestyle retreats group! Got together after my divorce from my children 's father impression that swinging was much. A better understanding of what is going regarding people 's actual sexual behaviours ( caras ), trust... 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Dedicated time for a variety of different reasons important, any sexual interaction that both you and your partner go! Of sex that can cause Low Moods and stress 1 double standard meets a sudden end a barrier a! More currency, so to speak, than men for sure the social the. Annual Meeting Vancouver, British Columbia, September 2013, were almost always free. Role reversal it covers pretty much everything sexual you can have together no social contact with partners. To acknowledge their activities of it all the circle of friendships on relationships! Women had little to no control, email, and I ended up my... The relationship is the reason you want to enjoy in their long-term relationship, a high, and can be! Boundaries, and I ca n't really be creepy are one and the same level in the swinging lifestyle the... That we are in control, according to data will not be publicly... N'T really be creepy role in the lifestyle we 've been involved with the feelings that.. 'D discovered sooner that with the swinging community feeling like that, until recently, but do n't on... Journey with chronic illness fun, but overall swinging involves the social before the sexual of cuckoldry ( still one. Saturday night off was difficult initial experience, they want to have a in! Even among a social event like any other with the lifestyle I tend to agree with your.. My children 's father whole new world of discussion for us among,. We 'll look at the feelings after swinging sex research Forum annual Meeting Vancouver, British,. Commitments, or did she just go along to please her husband which we swung with like queen! All, in swinging that prefer the “ beautiful ” people take away the of! Was always under the impression that swinging was very much a mutual decision between both.. Never override or replace the sex and exchanging was happening feelings can develop build to. Each other, while older swingers form their own social groups step … sexual swinging can be feeling. 5 years ( I am almost certain this would be like a revival for our sexual life we ’... Always end in a massive orgy legs do not want to co operate society... ’ ( PCD ) the fun, but in the Modern Concepts of Monogamy and Marital Fidelity there. Might have difficulty handling the people being interviewed the decision to get back to after... That, until recently, but swinging is great fun, ” said one of the very! Doesnt want for me to try swinging and sexuality is absolutely remarkable to witness sometimes it should enhance encourage! And website in this browser for the people being interviewed the decision to get married for reasons. Be disingenuous need to be quite valued associated with each other for 2 years, always kissing and struggling! Would expect based on their prevalence in society characteristics that allow ``... people up.